Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts

Saturday, April 19, 2008


Today is Saturday. That means there is a poem today. One of mine, believe it or not. Today's cookie goes to the person who can tell me what is ironic about posting this particular poem, on this particular day.

Edit: The poem that was originally here is an older version that is not as good. The newer version can be found here.

Friday, April 18, 2008


I have way too much poetry stuff to be doing. Fortunately, little of it requires actual memorization of poetry, but I still have to be prepared to read it with passion. Let give me you an idea of what my next couple weeks look like in terms of poetry.

2/23 Next Wednesday I am reading some poems for the faculty. My "Oda a Los Calcetines" poem is what got me this gig, but now that I have it, I decided I would take advantage of it. So I am reading a poem about my aspirations as a teacher, and a Taylor Mali poem (Not the one I read here, one with more "appropiate" language) I also need to get some more images together so I can create visuals. Most of the faculty don't speak Spanish, so they need visual cues.

2/26 This is the biggie. The slam finals. Twelve poets will compete in a three round, no elimination slam. The top four poets go on to represent Tucson at the National Poetry Slam is Madison Wisconsin. I have my three poems in mind, and I am going on page that night, but I still need to practice. I also want to order some business cards with my email and this blog address on them. That way I can point them to the "Recordings" link on the left, so they can hear more of my wonderful poems.

5/2 I am performing some poems in Spanish, at my brother's cultural festival. My original plan was just the "Oda" poem, but I decided it might be nice to be ready to do a few more. But this has somehow morphed into a requirement. The poems I have found will not be enough. I need to find a Puerto Rican poem, longer than six lines.

This should be fun.

Monday, April 14, 2008


I know that I'm supposed to post Ninja Comics on Mondays, but so much cool stuff happened this weekend, that the poetry Gods would probably strike me down if I didn't blog about it.

The language fair on Saturday was awesome. I rocked my poem, and the group from my class did great on their skit. However when they put the names of the "winners" on the screen (we were evaluated on a rubric, and got ribbons/trophies based on our scores alone) my name was not there and neither was that of the drama group. We found out later that there was a hole in the database, and many people were not posted, that did very well. If I knew how to hack their techie would be brute-forced into the stone age by now. I got a perfect score, and the drama group was only one point short of a perfect score. If you scroll down, you can see my ribbon on the left hand bar.

That night I managed to get the money to go see the performance. Ayisha Knight was very interesting. She is a deaf poet and all of her poems are in ASL. She had a translator for all of the poems except for the first one. But that one was the most interesting. She said before she started that it was about the first people coming to America. Even though I know almost no sign, I could see that it really was about that. I could tell that it was poetry.

After Ayisha, Verbobala Spoken Video performed. And what a performance it was! There was video, acrobats, people on stilts, and lots of cool poetry. If you ever get the chance to go see them, do it.

The next morning there was a panel on poetry and voice, with the festival guests. That was very interesting. Then early that afternoon Logan Philips, the leader of Verbobala gave a workshop on perfomance, and voice. I learned lots of cool stuff, that I think affected my performance that night.

That night there was poetry slam with a 100 dollar prize instead of the normal fifty dollar one. My first poem was excellent, and I got the highest score in the round. So I got to choose whether to go first or last in the second round. I chose first. That was the first of many mistakes, and unfortunate circumstances that got me low scores on my second poem, a poem that normally gets high marks. But I really liked my performance for the first round and that is what I am choosing to remember about that night.

Today's cookie goes to the person who can tell me what two poems I did at the slam. There are ways of figuring it out even if you weren't there, but if you were there, then this is an easy one. You don't need to tell me titles, just enough information so I know what poem you're talking about.

Saturday, April 12, 2008


I'm at the language fair now, desperately trying to upload and scan and post and read, all while people read over my shoulder. Here we have a poem about poetry, which is rather appropriate for today. I'm still not sure whether I'm going to the performance, or the open mic tonight because funding is still complicated. Anywho, today's cookie goes to the first person who can tell me the name of a poem, by one of the poets I mention in this poem.

Friday, April 11, 2008


"Oda a Los Calcetines"

I have blogged about this poem before, but last time it was in despair, now I have a message of hope.

When I began this process I struggled over the memorization. I had a mere two weeks to get this poem presentable. It had been nearly a week and I was barely halfway through the poem. But I kept on trying, knowing that I had a responsibility as a poet to do this poem justice. Soon I had the poem memorized, and recited to my teacher. She handed me back my poem, with numerous words highlighted. I have always thought I have excellent Spanish pronunciation, but I was ignoring accents, accenting the wrong syllables, and pronouncing "z"s with the English sound, instead of the "s" Spanish pronunciation. How could I have gone through four years of Spanish not saying "sapatos"?

But again I pushed forward, and corrected my mistakes, and soon had the poem memorized with the correct pronunciation. On Tuesday after school, I performed the poem for my teacher and one other teacher. I appreciated the slightly larger audience, and the other teacher gave me some good advice on pacing. By this point I was brimming with confidence. I did the poem perfectly when walking to and from school, and so on Wednesday I performed it for my Spanish class.

I rocked it. I owned the class. All the other's reciting poetry were boring, and barely had it memorized. I don't mean to be mean, but they only had fifty words, while I had 200. I had fifty words of my poem in the first two days. I was doing excellently, but then I got near the end, and my mind went blank. What was the next line? It was in my head, but I couldn't get it to come out of my mouth. My teacher refused to prompt me, because they wouldn't at the language fair. I thought for a bit and repeated some lines, and soon figured it out and was on my way. I finished the poem, and was complimented but I felt like I had failed.

I took a look at the stanza that I couldn't remember and figured out why it refused to come into my mind. I didn't know why it was there. It made no sense why the poet would have put in those lines. So I read the English translation, and figured it out. Not only did it help me to get it memorized, but it also improved the quality of the performance.

The next day in class I recited it, and this time I really rocked it. I went all the way through without messing up. I was still pronouncing the z wrong in one of the words, but it was minor. I'm working on fixing it as we speak. That afternoon I met at my teacher's classroom to practice some more. She asked if I wanted an audience again, and I said "sure, if you can round one up"

Five minutes later she returned with nine or ten teachers, and the principal. Most of these teachers knew little to no Spanish. But they seemed to enjoy themselves. They could tell it was a good recitation. After I finished, one of the teacher came up to me and asked me about the poem. It had already been mentioned that the title was "Ode to my Socks" this is our conversation.

Her: "So did he like his socks or not?"
Me: "He liked his socks, but his feet were bad, compared to the socks, his feet paracieron inaceptables, they seemed unacceptable."

I never intended to use the Spanish from the poem, but that was the easiest and most natural way to describe it. I am beginning to think in Spanish. Thus is the power of poetry. I wish I had got the chance to do this as a beginner to the language.

Today I am doing the poem for another of my teacher's classes. I'm not worried. Then the language fair is tomorrow. This should be fun.

Today's cookie goes to the person who can tell me who wrote this poem.

Thursday, April 10, 2008


Below is the information, for Sunday's slam. There are also some things happening Saturday, which are not important enough for their own post, but I will mention them here. I am competing in the Southern Arizona Language Fair. So if anyone wants to come to the UofA to listen to me recite a Spanish poem, let me know and I'll give you further details. Saturday night there are two potential events. One of them is a performance at the Tucson Poetry Festival, by a few different awesome poets. But it costs ten dollars to get in, which is great price, but I don't have that money right now.

So if that event doesn't happen, I will be going to the Tucson Premier Open Mic. I am sure that it is actually happening this time. I don't know anything about it, other than what is on the Myspace paged linked above. If it turns out to be awesome I will start promoting it, and attending when I can. There is also an event Sunday, morning, but I am still trying to figure out what it is, so I will post details later. Until then here is the details for Sunday's slam. By the way, I will be reading something new there.

Hey y'all,

You're going to the Tucson Poetry Festival this weekend, aren't you? I figured you were. And since you're already planning to be there, I know there's no way you would miss the FREE, OPEN SLAM with a $100 PRIZE!

Sunday, April 13, 2008
8:00 pm (show up early to get on the list--wait, you'll already be there watching the rest of the Festival)
THE HISTORIC Y, 300 E University (just west of 4th Ave, near Epic Cafe)
Hosted by Lindsay Miller

Did I mention the $100 PRIZE, donated by none other than the lovely, talented, and generous Jo, of Bentley's Coffee fame? And hey, since we're not gonna be at Bentley's this weekend, why not stop by there this week if you have time for a cup of coffee? They are wonderful and supportive to us, so let's show the same love to them.

This is the LAST qualifying slam for the 2008 Slam-Off. Poet standings to follow in a separate e-mail.

See you Sunday! It's gonna be a big one, so bring your friend, bring your loved ones, bring your enemies and we'll make them judge.


Tuesday, April 8, 2008


As promised I have recorded another one of my poems, and am posting it for your enjoyment. This poem is also in the playlist, that you can access by clicking on "Recordings" to your left. Today's cookie goes to the person who can tell me what the natural enemy of the subject of this poem is. (Yes, there is a right answer to this one)

Edit: The poem that was originally here is an older version that is not as good. The newer version can be found here.

Sunday, April 6, 2008


I have just returned from Lake Havasu, from the last retreat that I will take with my youth group. Fun times were had by all, but I didn't get to read any of my poems. Oh well, I'll survive. I have a slam in a week, so I shall just have to wait until then. I will post details about that event when I get some more details on it. I will try to post another recording of a poem sometime soon. There should be another Ninja Comic tommorow as I plan to go to the library, so I can use their scanners. I also have plans for another series of posts, but I think I will wait until Blogger adds scheduled posting. That will make these series, much easier. In other news I intend to buy a domain name soon for this blog. I may build a website later, but for now I will just host this blog at or maybe What do you all think?

Saturday, March 29, 2008


Once more I have neglected to cater to the needs of audience. Once more I have failed to provide a recording of one of my poems. I realize this is the third week in a row, but their is good news. I don't have any other recordings available to post. This means that next Saturday I will have something original to post. Until then here is a recording of me reading, "Danse Russe" by William Carlos Williams.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008


I have been rather congested lately, so I haven't been able to record another poem for you all. So once more I have a poem by someone else, but read by me. This one I have blogged about before. This is pretty close to the performance I gave at the Poetry Out Loud competition. the one that got me second place. I am going to change my schedule to posting poems on Saturdays because I won't really have access to a decent computer on Wednesday for a while. You won't see anything this Saturday, but next Saturday I should have a poem for you all. Hopefully my allergies will have cleared up and I can record one of my own poems.

Saturday, March 15, 2008


Just kidding!

I am getting a beret from a friend of mine, so all is well. Hope to see many of you at the slam tonight.


Friday, March 14, 2008


Many of you that know me, know me by my beret I have hat for years now, and wear it always to church and poetry events. I will also occasionally wear it other places. That is where the trouble lies. The beret is currently out of my possesion. I put it in my pocket it Target to listen to the Bose headphones (amazing by the way) I realized later that it was not in my pocket. When I went back, the store had just closed. They let me check the lost and found, but it was not there. It opens tommorow at eight, so I am planning on calling to see if the cleaning crew picked it up.

I have been close to losing it before. But if I do not get it back, then I will see if someplace in Tucson will sell me one. It will not be the same one that was with me for so many years, but it will be a beret. I think I look pretty damn good in a beret, and people have come to expect it of me. How could I ever call myself, the Dashing French Pilgrim without a beret?

I don't know where I would buy a beret in Tucson, but presumably it is possible. It is a somewhat common hat. I'm thinking a costume store would be my best bet. But I want to be a real, wool beret, and not a fake costume one. I will wait to research until I am sure I have lost my original one though.

Monday, March 10, 2008


This post is linked to on the left. Below is Lindsay's email about Saturday's event. I hope to see as many of you there as possible:

Hey y'all,

This weekend the Ocotillo Slam brings you the poetic stylings of the inimitable Kim Johnson! Kim's gift for wordplay and dirty haiku made her a huge hit last year, and if you missed her that time, don't make the same mistake again!

Kim will be giving a poetry workshop on Saturday afternoon, 3:00 pm at Bentley's focusing on haiku. The workshop costs $5 and is well worth it! If there's a good turnout to the workshop or a few haikusters eager to share their stuff, we will have a Haiku Death Match before the slam to see who can REALLY walk the walk (in 17 syllables or less!).

Saturday, March 15, 2008
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea
1730 E Speedway, Tucson

6:30 Sign-up
7:00 Featured poet KIM JOHNSON & Haiku Death Match
8:00 The Coronation Slam hosted by MICKEY RANDLEMAN--Watch your favorite local poets and newcomers battle it out for fame, glory, $50 and the Crown of Golden Laurel Leaves!

All ages
Suggested donation $5

Poets, this IS a qualifying event for Team Tucson 2008, and the day of reckoning is drawing nigh, so get your points in while you can! For more info on qualifying check out

See you Saturday,

Saturday, March 8, 2008


Considering we were a doing this for the first time, we actually did pretty good at that mock trial team. The first round we went against UHS, so we really had no chance. That's one of those college prep highschools, and those people have some crazy drive. Then we went up against St. Gregory's and actually did pretty decent. Then we went against Cholla. They did rather badly, and we probably beat them, but didn't perform nearly as well as we had in the previous rounds. But I was a witness, and I rocked it. The guy who cross examined me had no idea, and ended up sounding like an idiot. So, overall a good day.

But, it did have one unfortunate downfall. There was an open mic that I wanted to go to, the Tucson Premiere Open Mic. They hold them every second and fourth Saturday of the month. I am definitely planning on going to the one on the 29th of this month. I couldn't go to the one today, because this whole mock trial thing took most of the day. But unless something major happens I should be at the one at the end of the month. Click on the link above for show specifics.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008


I realized that all of the poems I have posted so far have had a common theme. So I decided to post this one, which follows that theme. Next week I will post something different, but for now here is another poem. If you scroll down you can listen to all of my poems in one playlist. Or you can click on the link on the left.

Edit: The poem that was originally here is an older version that is not as good. The newer version can be found here

Wednesday, February 27, 2008


As you may have guessed from my last post, my computer has been acting up. Or more accurately, not acting at all. When I press the power button it does nothing. I'm hoping its the power supply, because if its the motherboard, then I might as well get a new computer. Anyway, in honor if this computer woe, I am posting a poem. I think that I will be posting poems every Wednesday, from now until I decide to change things. So then, without further adieu, I give you a poem.

Saturday, February 23, 2008


SPY Girl was kind enough to review my HP erotic poem in her blog. Though I am a bit disturbed by this statement:
"I, having been exposed to some HP sex myself,"
Who knew dear old Harry was such a player?

Anyway, if you are looking for my HP erotica poem, scroll down. If you are wanting a link to it, then click on the title of the post. SPY Girl, if you are reading this, would you mind changing the link on your blog, to the post, instead of the imeem page?

Now that we are finished with that bit of shameless plugging, on with some more shameless plugging!

As you may already know I have a poetry slam tonight. I have three poems planned. Though I may not get past one depending on how ignorant the judges are feeling. The slam is done in three rounds. Let us assume that we have the maximum of ten poets in the slam. Everyone reads a poem in the first round. Then the five poets with the highest scores go on to the second round. Then the final round is one on one. I have only ever made it to the second round, but perhaps tonight will be different.

My first poem will be the poem that some of you may have heard, the one about the little girl dancing to the hymns. I am a little bit worried about this one. I know it's a good poem, but hopefully the judges will not have heard me before, so my reputation as a funny poet doesn't get in the way.

If you are reading this and you haven't gotten an email from me about tonight's slam, and you live in Tucson, AZ and want to come, post your email, and I'll try to send you the info. However, I don't think that's very likely.

Wish me luck with my poetry, I hope to see many of you at the slam cheering me on.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


As requested, here is the Harry Potter Erotic Fan Fiction poem. Just a quick disclaimer, and then the poem.
This poem contains explicit content and language of a sexual nature. You may be disturbed by it, you may even be horrified. There is also a high probability of hilarity and extreme entertainment. You have been warned.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


'Twas brillig and the slithey toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogoves
And the mome raths outgrabe

That is the first stanza of "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carol. Taken alone it can mean anything, so I am choosing it to describe my day at the Ren Fair. Take it how you will.

In other news, I have another poetry event today. This is the Poetry Out Loud recitation competetion. I will be reciting Jabberwocky and Danse Russe by William Carlos Williams. If you want to read those poems Google them. They are both very popular. If you want to hear me read those poems, then you can either show up at Catalina Magnet High in Tucson, AZ from 3 to 5 this afternoon, or you can wait and hope that I might get around to recording them and posting them here.

It should be fun, and I'm pretty sure I have a decent chance of winning. I'll post about it later today or tomorrow.

Saturday, February 16, 2008


The point is not the points. The point is the poetry.

These are the words of the Chicago construction worker, Marc Smith (SO WHAT?!), the man who invented slam poetry. I do slams once or twice a month, when they have them. Tonight's slam was an interesting one. It was the Valentines Day Slam with three parts Love Me, Do Me, Leave Me. In other words love poems, sex poems and break up poems.

For the first part I did a poem about an internet girlfriend (a fictional one, I promise). My sex poem was about Harry Potter Erotic Fan Fiction. Then I did a break up poem making fun of break up poems.

The internet girlfriend one, always goes over well. But I rocked the second round, in which I got three 10s and some other scores I don't remember. Then the third round I got another ten, but the other scores were average.

There was a winner named for each round and one for the cumulative score. I won the second round with my poem. The prize was somewhat awkward (flavored lube), but it was great.

At this point you are probably wondering about the title of this post. Well I should be estatic, but I'm not. I was happy when I did the poem, and right after. I was happy when I saw my scores. But when I found out I won, my first thought was "what am I supposed to do with flavored lube?"

I realized I have reached a sort of poetic nirvana. The only thing that matters to me is the poetry, not the points. Of course that will all go down the tube when someone gives me a 2, and it hurts.