Triumph

Man has triumphed over machine. The trophies I hold in my hand are the proof. You are confused, but fear not, there is tale to be told.

I was at the UofA Library on the computer and left for a bit to get something from the vending machine. I put my money in the machine and make my selection. This machine, in all it's cleverness has a device that blocks the food from the place where you collect to the food. This barrier only slides back during vending. So, I have put my money in the machine and the barrier is retracting. Once retracted, the food begin to move forward. but my cinnamon roll is exceptionally large and is trapped. Before I can say sugar coated, the barrier moves back into place, leaving me with no money and no food.

Well, not quite no money. I have a five dollar bill, but those are useless at such machines. I realize that the only way for me to get my food is to purchase the item in back of it. I know that any hungry college student will realize the same thing. But I am out of change. Not wanting my money to go to waste, and have someone receive two treats for the price of one, I begin running. I got to the student union, purchase a 25 cent chocolate and run back to the machine with my change.

My food is still there, dangling, but held firmly in place. I put in more money and select F8. My cinnamon roll falls, and much to my delight, something else falls after it. Behind my cinnamon roll was a row of carrot cakes. I now have three treats, the satisfaction of victory, and something to blog about.

Photoshopping

Just posting a little photoshop job that I did for the Ocotillo Poetry slam. I may using it for their website, which I am building.

Highschool Graduate Seeking Work

I don't know how many people read this blog, but it is certainly less than the number of people that read the resume section at Craig's List. Nevertheless I am going to repost what I posted there, here. My email is faldwin@gmail.com if you are interested in contacting me about my services.

I have about six weeks free this summer, from June 23rd to August 1st. I can be available before then, but the schedule gets complicated, but I will try if you want. I need about 800 dollars to help pay for me go to the National Poetry Slam In Madison, Wisconsin. If you would like to give me 800 dollars I would be eternally grateful, but as that is extremely unlikely here are some of the things I can provide for you.

I know a quite a lot about computers, so if you need a techie I'm your man. I can build basic webpages, work with MS Office and Windows, a little bit of Mac and I can type about 30wpm. I could set up your computer, even teach you how to use it if you want. I know a lot about how to work with various internet applications, so I could run your website/blog/forum. If I don't know how to use it there's a good chance I could figure it out.

As I mentioned before I am a poet. If you need a slam poet for your event, I would be happy to oblige. My poetry has a narrative/declamatory voice, rarely including rhyme or consistent meter. In other words my poetry is more about what I say, than how I say it. However, I still put a lot of thought and purpose into my delivery, because I write my poetry to be heard. Keep in mind that much of my work contains language and content that may be considered objectionable. I am also good at reciting the works of others. So if you want me to lend my voice to classic or modern works I can do that too.

Another of my areas of expertise is teaching. I plan to be a teacher, and have acquired significant experience in this field, for someone of my age. I can tutor your child in all manner of subjects, and I can even work with adults. If I know it, then I can teach it.

I may even be able to do something else. If there is something that you need done, send me an email and we'll talk. I am pretty open-minded.

Despite being open minded, there are certain things I will not do. These include, but are not limited to:
Doing anything illegal, immoral, or dangerous.
Doing anything of a sexual or romantic nature (I'm not that attractive, really)
Working extremely late at night.
Working on Friday or Saturday nights.
Producing work for you to claim as your own.
Working for free.

So if you are need of a poet, teacher, computer nerd or anything else anytime within the dates of June 23rd to August 1st (or before if you are willing to work with my schedule) please don't hesitate to send me an email. You don't have to provide the whole sum, but anything you can do to help out would be much appreciated.

You can donate money, or listen to some of my poems at my blog here:
faldwin.blogspot.com
(Click on “Recordings” to hear the poems)

Hopefully this will result in some interesting work that will help with my sticky financial situation.